The light on the answering machine was always blinking. Blinking as I got home from school. Blinking when we got back with the groceries. Blinking. Blinking. Blinking… Why does nobody ever answer this blinkin’ phone!?

Oh where oh where has the telephone gone?
Do you think we can ever find it again?
Could be under the settee or under the bed,
But I bet you Taff has run off with it.
He probably uses it more than half of you
Bye.

My Grampie always treated the empty space of the answering machine as a stage to perform his greatest hits. There, jingles, rhymes, and song patiently awaited their audience.

Hi ho! Hi ho!
I wonder where you all gone to?
[unclear] and a bit of a shit.
Hi ho! Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho!

Where’s the phone?
Is it under the basement stairs?
Or have you lost it somewhere else?
Ho ho! Ho ho, ho ho, ho ho!

No matter the reason he called, he made it a point to leave us with a smile on our faces.

Here I am again,
Happy as can be
Looking out to see if there’s anyone there.

The Big Bang is on tonight.
Channel 8 you may see it.
So David don’t forget to watch it.
It’s the theory of the Big Bang.

Bye bye for now.
Talk to you again.
An dan dan dan da da da da da
Woo!